When do you make the decision to buy something?
I’ve been struggling with this question lately, but it’s not because I think I’m shopping too much or spending too much money. Those concerns are ever present for me, but I am operating on an annual budget this year rather than a monthly allowance, and I have plenty of budget left to spend. No, the issue for me is that before I let myself engage with a product in real life, I feel like I have already decided I am going to purchase the item…but it’s a fallacy. Let’s get into it!
We recently took a trip to the beach, and in my flurry of trip preparation, I thought about buying a new pair of chic, beach-friendly flip-flops from Crocs. They were gorgeous, with their straps, square toe, and toe loop. I loved how sleek they looked and envisioned them as a great footwear option with a pretty sundress for dinners out on the town.
So cute, right? I spent days thinking about whether I really needed another pair of flip-flops when I already have two perfectly fine pairs that are beachproof and fit my feet. When I visited an Academy Sports+Outdoors store in search of water shoes for my son, I was sold—the Crocs were coming home with me.
Except…they didn’t really fit me. The straps were not snug enough around my feet to work for me; I just knew they’d be a bad choice, even though I don’t really consider flip-flops to be a “walking shoe.” We all still walk in our flip-flops, and a flip-flop that slides all around my feet is going to annoy me and cause blisters. In the end, it was an easy no, even after all that self-generated hype and mental energy.
Our second candidate was a beautiful dress I spotted at Nordstrom. I’ve been spending a lot more time in Nordstrom to help my partner build a little summer capsule wardrobe, so it was a total lark that I saw anything for myself. This dress…wow, it was so pretty. I could just see afternoon dates to the movies and maybe an anniversary dinner in July. So, so pretty. I’m a real sucker for a palm tree print. The dress is a linen-rayon blend and fully lined. At $100, it is more than I usually spend on clothing other than outerwear like shoes or a coat, but I could not stop thinking about it.
This dress1 is from the brand Petal & Pup, whose clothing line is absolute eye candy. My wallet is giving me the side eye right now. On the rack, the dress looked like a breezy, easy summer piece. But on the body, it’s quite different. It’s much more of a tailored fit, with essentially zero stretch. My usual size in clothing is a medium, but for this dress, I tried on small, medium, and large versions. None of them fit very well. I struggled to fit the small and medium over my hips and butt, while the large gave me gaps on top. While I still loved the pattern and that gorgeous muted peachy pink color, I had to concede that this dress was not a match for me.
And I’m so glad to have this knowledge about the dress and the flip-flops! I was afraid to try these pieces on because I feared all the decision analysis around whether these were really good purchases for me. But more often than not, engaging with the real product, and not my imagined version of it, kills the magic of the fantasy. I really need that super power because I have too much stuff (stuff that I genuinely love!) to buy everything that strikes my fancy.
What a great lesson to learn, especially in the age of endless email marketing, social media, and the imagined perfection of the self. I can only ever be me, just like you can only ever be you. And I want to live in reality, not some digital fantasy.
Some details about the dress, like the fabric, are different as listed on the Nordstrom website compared to the dress itself.