Welcome to No-Buy October!

The importance of a robust emergency fund

Hello and happy October!

After two excruciating months, I am pleased to report that for me, it is indeed a happy October. Although my husband Paul and I find ourselves facing some setbacks (which I’ll get into below), the persistent pain and despair is lifting. For the past few days, I have woken up and felt…okay. And for me, “okay” means good, functional, able to face the day. “Okay” is a quiet joy, a reminder that this too shall pass.

I’ll take it.

Rather unexpectedly, Paul lost his job in late September. He had received multiple reassurances that this would not happen, and yet it did. I cannot in good faith get into the details around how and why this happened, but as a household, we find ourselves without much income. I had a huge contract fall through before Paul lost his job, and we didn’t have many other projects underway. Paul and I are consummate hustlers, always working on multiple things with multiple streams of income. This time, we put too many of our eggs in one basket, and the basket broke.

Hustlers that we are, we do have some income in the form of smaller jobs—a few weeks on a software development project for Paul, piecemeal tutoring work for me. We both want bigger, more substantial jobs—more hours, more money, more commitment. But for now, we are watching our spending and doing the work toward those bigger jobs.

We are fortunate that we kept about three months’ worth of living expenses in our savings. This is very basic financial advice, but I am glad we followed it! That emergency fund is giving us the runway to launch our next adventures, and the time it affords us is very precious.

Because of our income situation, I intend to be on a replacement-only no-buy until the end of the year. I can’t justify the frivolous expenses that my usual beauty budget affords; I need my household to weather the next few months without major losses.

What is a “replacement-only no-buy?” Basically, it’s a commitment to not buy things in certain categories unless they are replacing items that have been used up or worn out. For me, the categories are my beauty budget categories: makeup, skincare, clothing, shoes, accessories, and candles. I currently own an abundance of options in the categories where I value choice.

Interestingly, this no-buy corresponds with a time in my life wherein I have noticed that moderation is getting harder for me. I have been feeling like I have an internal toggle switch, and it’s either set to BUY THINGS or DON’T BUY THINGS. I used to be fantastic at moderating my spending, back in my single days. But lately it’s been much harder to turn the BUY THINGS switch off…or at least flip it to MAYBE BUY SOMETHING ONCE IN A WHILE.

I suspect this issue with moderation may be a result of some deep internal struggles that have been gnawing at me. Questions of purpose, work, time, and value have been swirling inside me for the past year. I have felt lost. I’ve been trying to transition my career into writing and editing work that I can do while my son is in school, but that transition has happened in fits and starts—I haven’t been able to find any traction with stable work, though I have gained valuable experience. I’ve been frustrated, and I have not been doing the hard work of seeking out new opportunities. I’ve used my husband’s success as an excuse to set my ambitions on cruise-control.

Paul is a kind and generous partner who has given me all the freedom I could want around both my work and my spending. But truthfully, I don’t know if I’m really wired to have that much freedom without ill effects. I think limits may be beneficial to me. When I was single, I knew that I alone was solely responsible for all my financial decisions. And that motivated me to be careful and moderate my spending. I did well; I was able to save a lot of money that Paul and I used to fund our early years together. But now? Or rather, before Paul lost his job? I’ve been trying to use my beauty budget and Ordinary Beauty to moderate my spending and my behavior. But I worry that sometimes I spend too much time thinking about whether or not to buy something. I feel obsessive. And I don’t know that I want that experience for myself.

I think for the next few months, the constraints of a no-buy will be good for me. Abstention from buying anything “extra” feels like a relief to me. It feels right. The amount of money I won’t spend, in theory, is probably $400, which, to be totally honest, is not that much money for our household budget. We live in a high cost-of-living city, and we doubled our housing cost when we bought our house.

My main goals are to minimize my frivolous spending and not think about shopping as much. Browsing is fine. I hope to minimize the obsessive thinking and planning around purchases. However, if I am gifted money or gift cards, I will allow myself to use that money to buy non-essentials. A gift of money can be a special treat. Anything that feels essential should be a replacement. I may need to replace my sports bras, which are very old and likely not providing the support I need for running, a sport I’ve recently started doing again after a long, long hiatus.

I feel good about the plan. And I have plans for this space too: I hope to do some interesting posts looking back at my recommendations and my spending. While I have some idea of what lessons I can take away from tracking my spending and sharing recommendations, I hope I surprise myself too, with some new revelations that I only uncovered by doing the work of reflection. I also plan to track my success with the no-buy to see how it evolves during this time of transition.

October, let’s go!

Top photo courtesy of Thula Na via unsplash. Bottom photo courtesy of Francesco Gallaro via unsplash.