Laneige Water Bank Blue Hyaluronic Cream Moisturizer
Emotional support lotion
My dad died about two weeks ago.
It was sudden and unexpected. He had been sick, apparently, but not that sick. In fact, just a few days earlier, my mom thought he was getting better. She thought they were out of the woods. He died on a Sunday at the age of 78, a long life completed.
My dad and I did not always get along. We’re both stubborn and filled with a sense of our own self-righteousness. I think he didn’t always understand my world, nor did I understand his. His death left me gutted, grasping. I thought we would have more time.
As I was growing up, my mom was the more hands-on parent, as is often the case with mothers. I adore my mom. She’s my heart, the soft understanding I have in my own abilities. My dad raised me to be a survivor. He is the grit, the strength and the endurance inside me. I kinda hate having to be strong and independent. I like being soft and taken care of! But I know we need both halves of this spectrum from barest survival to pampered luxury—we need the hard and the soft, the grit and the compassion. We need confidence in our own abilities, and we need to trust others to take care of us.
As I contemplated my dad’s legacy, I was struck by the idea that “being happy” did not seem to be something he valued. And yet, my dad had a long life. A good life. He and my mom raised five children and lived to meet four of their grandchildren. Dad had a ton of hobbies and a deep commitment to living a simple and frugal life. He often disagreed with other people—vehemently! Dad built a life for himself and his family, one which was, quite frankly, gentler than his own childhood. Of course, as a child, I didn’t appreciate how much my parents did provide for us. (What child does? Kids are hard-wired to want. It’s part of what fuels their growth.) We didn’t have a lot of fun “extras” like toys or destination vacations (does Cleveland count as a destination?). Instead, what we had was a big backyard, a safe neighborhood, other kids, a nearby park, and a lot of freedom to explore. I grew up with what now seems like an unimaginable amount of freedom. Dad valued freedom, and I see now that he and my mom created a very large container in which we could feel free.
Before I flew up to Michigan to be with my family, I decided to give myself one small act of kindness. I had already started turning into a dried-up husk from all the crying. I was desiccating in real time. Plus I remembered how dry my skin had felt during our big family trip in November. The weather had been beautiful—sunny, crisp, and cool—but the air had been very dry compared to Austin. Flying back up to Michigan, I knew I was going to need some extra support as I went from balmy, springtime Austin to late-winter Detroit.
This moisturizer from Laneige has been my emotional support lotion. It feels lightweight and watery. It goes on cleanly and leaves my skin feeling fresh. Its fragrance is something like lemon mixed with the smell of a newborn baby’s head. In a cold, dry climate, I like to layer it underneath my sunscreen in the morning for a little moisture boost.
I think this is my second time buying this exact product and my third or fourth time buying a moisturizer from Laneige. I had concluded that this product is a little too expensive for my taste; the larger size is 1.6 ounces for $40. But during this time of grief, I wanted to be extra gentle with myself, and Laneige hit the spot.
In addition, my personal feeling is that if you use a splurge all the way up, it becomes less of a splurge. How do I explain this logic? For one thing, some expensive things really do take a very long time to use up. If a product costs you, let’s say, $60 but it lasts for two years, that’s only $2.50 per month. I’m a big fan of thinking about cost per use (or cost per wear with clothing). If you ACTUALLY USE the items you purchase, you can get a much better sense of how indulgent your splurges really are.
In my case, the mini size of this Laneige moisturizer (0.67 ounces) will last about one month. I’m okay with that, though I probably won’t buy it again for a while after it runs out. For today and during this time of grief, I feel like a little extra self-care is just right.
Product Details: Laneige Water Bank Blue Hyaluronic Cream Moisturizer
Sold at Sephora or on Laneige’s website
Price: $23 for 0.67 ounces or $40 for 1.6 ounces
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Two things before I go:
I loved this video from Hannah Louise Poston about the decluttering of the fantasy self. Definitely worth watching if you haven’t already.
For those of you following along our home-buying adventure, we made an offer, the seller accepted, and we are now under contract! It’s not a done deal, but if all goes well, we will close our house purchase at the end of March.